Im Coleman, i'm fourteen

24th April 2014

Chat reblogged from (100+) Tumblr with 15,537 notes

  • fake gamer girl: i love zelda she's so cool
  • me: zelda is the name of the guy

Source: memeapologist

24th April 2014

Photo reblogged from Tastefully Offensive on Tumblr with 16,703 notes

tastefullyoffensive:

[poorlydrawnlines]

tastefullyoffensive:

[poorlydrawnlines]

Source: pdlcomics

24th April 2014

Post reblogged from Awake with 220,739 notes

bitcorn:

just saw a guy wearing a nirvana t-shirt lmfao i bet cant even name three noble truths of buddhism

Source: wars3

24th April 2014

Photo reblogged from opened him eyes a first time about two days ago with 100,590 notes

cybergy:

DUDE OMG

cybergy:

DUDE OMG

Source: cybergy

24th April 2014

Question reblogged from the most official bad text posts from the usa with 330 notes

Anonymous asked: um please don't destroy bee hives.

officialunitedstates:

um I hate bees????  I’ll gladly destroy their homes with my fist

24th April 2014

Post reblogged from the most official bad text posts from the usa with 628 notes

officialunitedstates:

a bed made completely out of live snakes

22nd April 2014

Question reblogged from the most official bad text posts from the usa with 4,631 notes

Anonymous asked: will u tell me a story

officialunitedstates:

"You can’t just ride a bear," she said.  "It’s not built for transportation."

I looked at her cowardly face.  “That’s loser talk,” I said.

She was a bit offended but I didn’t care.  I was going to ride that grizzly bear and I was going to do it today.

"Give me the lasso out of the bag," I ordered.

"No… please, don’t do this."

"That’s loser talk," I said as I ripped the backpack out of her hands. 

The rope was thick and the lasso was heavy, but I had spent every waking hour of my life preparing for this day.  A heavy rope wasn’t going to stop me.

"What if it bites you?" she protested. 

But I wouldn’t listen.  This was my destiny; this was my fate.  I slowly approached the grizzly, rope in hand, my fingers ready to strike. 

I knew it could sense I was coming.  It turned, sniffed the air, and rose up on its hind legs.  He was towering, about a foot taller than me, and had thick brown fur shielding him from the cold.  I only had my $240 North Face jacket.

"Let’s go.  You and me.  It’s game time, you dumb bear," I taunted. 

He slowly turned to face me.  Our eyes met, and he had a twinkle in his eye that looked like a diamond.  It was kind of cute for a bear. 

I readied my lasso.  The time was right.  The wind was settled and the air was clear.  It was now or never. 

But I couldn’t do it.  It was something about the way he tilted his head and stared at me—a sort of innocence and fragility that I had scarcely seen before.  I just couldn’t bring myself to tame such a wild beast.

"I can’t do it…. I can’t fight you, bear," I shouted in tears.

"That’s loser talk," said the bear.

22nd April 2014

Post reblogged from (100+) Tumblr with 99,851 notes

cyberuser:

cyberuser:

vvankinq:

cyberuser:

what do you call a message sent by a girl?

*sighs* what

a feMAIL

i got 7 messages saying this joke is offensive & that i’m the reason feminism exists

Source: milch

22nd April 2014

Chat reblogged from (100+) Tumblr with 117,413 notes

  • Kid: Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
  • Cashier: Are you 18?
  • Kid: It's okay, they're a metaphor.

Source: bartonfinks

22nd April 2014

Post reblogged from (100+) Tumblr with 145,420 notes

sangorox:

when a fandom you’re not in gets an update you don’t care about

image

Source: sangorox